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So you wake up, put on your fiercest business attire, walk into your office ready to take over the world and BAAAAAM … the hater is in your face ready to give you a daily dose of their get-under-your-skin antics. You put your professional foot forward, fool yourself one more time into thinking you can just be nice, keep your mouth shut, and ignore the hate, hoping it will die down and disappear. In actuality, all you have done is avoid conflict, a solution that brings momentary peace and is the calm before the storm.
Failing to address interpersonal problems in the workplace leads to loss of productivity and low morale, along with a host of other issues. This building resentment and hateration is hard to get rid of if not addressed at the onset. Hate can grow to a point of no return. At that point, the only solution is for the person causing the resentment to leave or “be punished.”
But, what do you do when you have to go to work and face someone who hates you for a myriad of unknown reasons, made you the victim of malicious office gossip, sabotaged your work and slandered your good name? You can continue to take the high road and ignore the taunting, but it will eventually take a toll on you if you let it.
I’m going to address those haters and tell you how to recognize them, why they hate, and how to rise above it.
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CELEBRATING 10 YEARS! Join us for the landmark 10th Annual Black Enterprise Women of Power Summit hosted by State Farm, March 2–4, 2015, at Fort Lauderdale Harbor Beach Marriott Resort & Spa, Fort Lauderdale, FL. This exciting, one-of-a-kind executive leadership summit is designed to train, equip and encourage women to become industry leaders, learn career strategies, and discover proven work–life balance techniques. Register Now! http://www.blackenterprise.com/wps
How to Recognize Them
Haters come in all forms. They are usually the ones that want what you have. Instead of focusing that negative energy on getting smarter, building work alliances, and creating a more productive work environment, they are the ones snickering at all your success and promotions.
Every compliment is countered with a negative undertone: “Nice samples of your new jewelry line. I see the pricing is low. It must be cheap,” is a statement a hater would make. Or, if ever there’s a time you make a mistake, they run and shout it on the hills as if it’s the hot topic of the day. They are the people who always look at you with the side eye or their lip slightly turned up, usually for no reason at all. They thrive off negativity and foster feelings of inadequacy in all their relationships.
Why They Hate
No doubt this behavior stems from childhood where they are taught to view their own personal appearance, personal value and worth with a critical eye, never quite measuring up. Bottom line, they have personal issues within themselves that most likely stem from jealousy, bitterness, inferiority, anger]and shame.
There are a number of causes behind a person being a hater and having negative attitudes in the workplace or their personal life. The foremost among these is dissatisfaction with the way their life is going or has shaped up. If a person is in an unfulfilling relationship, or if they find themselves pursuing a profession they are least interested in, they are bound to feel frustrated and develop negative feelings.
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How To Rise Above the Hate
Keep a positive outlook. If it’s bearable, let them hate and continue to do you staying positive and focused. However, sometimes it can get to be unbearable. If you do reach that breaking point, here are some things you can do to protect yourself, your job, and most importantly your fist from meeting someone’s face:
Try to have a one on one conversation. Be pleasant and go with the intention to resolve any issues. Give the hater an opportunity to voice their issues. But, be mindful that most haters won’t be able to articulate the real issue and will instead try to create one by focusing on miniscule issues they’ve unjustly morphed into huge problems. You will quickly recognize that their goal is not for resolution and no matter what you say or do they won’t commit to truce. At this point, you must now move past mediation to preservation.
Conduct yourself in a professional manner while at work at all times. Arrive on time, perform your duties to the best of your ability, do not participate in office gossip and ignore the situation as much as possible. The hater will look for any loophole to bring you down.
Lastly, seek a healthy environment where you are respected and recognized for your work accomplishments. Trust me, you’ll be better off!
One thing you don’t want to do is allow the hater to turn you into someone just like them. Misery loves company. At the end of the day, a hater is going to be a hater! There’s really not much you can do to change them. So, make sure you recognize them, protect yourself, kill them with kindness, and excel to a point where even the hater has to eventually give you props and respect. After that, sit back, kick your feet up on your desk, laugh while you waddle in all your success and say to yourself when they walk by or are mentioned, “Hi, Hater!”
Yandy Smith is a music management powerhouse and co-founder/CEO of Everything Girls Love, a lifestyle, Web publishing and fashion brand. With valuable experience collaborating alongside entertainment heavyweight Mona Scott-Young at multimedia conglomerate Violator Management, and later, Monami Entertainment, she has worked with music industry greats including 50 Cent, Missy Elliott, Busta Rhymes, LL Cool J, and Jim Jones.
CELEBRATING 10 YEARS! Join us for the landmark 10th Annual Black Enterprise Women of Power Summit hosted by State Farm, March 2–4, 2015, at Fort Lauderdale Harbor Beach Marriott Resort & Spa, Fort Lauderdale, FL. This exciting, one-of-a-kind executive leadership summit is designed to train, equip and encourage women to become industry leaders, learn career strategies, and discover proven work–life balance techniques. Register Now! http://www.blackenterprise.com/wps
